Fear and Loathing in Fernwood

At "Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman," my boss often encouraged me to spend more time on the set with the actors.  I resisted.  Getting a show on the air five days a week was not an endeavor for the uncommitted.  The exertion created overwhelming stress and often led to physical and emotional exhaustion.  It was not always handled gracefully.

I never witnessed a Louise Lasser Tantrum--and felt blessed for it--but hearing from those who experienced her uncontrollable rage was enough to unnerve me.  I remember too well the trembling young courier who hid in my office after she verbally brutalized him for an inconsequential misstep.  There were tears in his eyes as he described running away from her because the fear and humiliation were too much for him; he said he had never seen anyone so angry in his life.

It seemed to me that Louise had two principle methods of stress-relief:  She either blew up--making life miserable for others--or she retreated into an alternate universe where others didn't exist.

One day when I was on the set I saw her in what appeared to be deep meditation.  She was sitting at Mary Hartman's kitchen table, seemingly unaware of her surroundings or the director who was about to call for action.  The show was behind schedule and over budget, so he and the producers wanted to film every scene in one take.  One take only.

This wasn't going to happen.

Louise's head wobbled slightly.  As her eyes opened, she looked around, bewildered and disoriented.

I sensed disaster and raced back to the producers' office where Brad and Eugenie were watching the scene on their TV monitors.

"She looks terrible!" I shouted, as if they couldn't see for themselves.  They seemed concerned, but not nearly as much as I was.  I needed to convince them that Louise was in no shape to do that scene.  Maybe there was time to call the set and delay taping until she came to her senses.  Otherwise they'd never get this scene in one take.

But no, it was too late.  The director called for action--and that's exactly what he got.  Louise miraculously came to life.  Right before our eyes, she transformed herself into Mary Hartman.  The scene was perfect--and in one take.

That was the day I learned never to underestimate Louise.